I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
