we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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