wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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