It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize