i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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