he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
