I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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