she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
honey bunches of taint.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
