I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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