toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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