do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Come on in and take your pants off
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