The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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