I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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