He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
