So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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