Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
