Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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