But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
