I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
