everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
