have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
