Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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