HIV tests are more positive than that guy
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize