i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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