Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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