Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She's the barista slut.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
