just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
