idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
even my farts smell like vagina
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
