they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
