You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We got so high we made milksteak
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
