I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
