farters have to be the big spoon...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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