You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
