did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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