You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
