Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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