Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
