i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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