Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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