Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
