you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
