I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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