Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize