Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
