You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
