I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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