I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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