hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
