one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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