i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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