Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I can't put those talents on a resume
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
