and she was petting her beer can
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
