Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
