you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
