There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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