in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize