i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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