woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize