Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
