They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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