I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize