There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you win again, gameday.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
