My friends, they love my intelligence
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
