I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
