Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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