It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
