Midget sex pt 2 tonight
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
