we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
