i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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