i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
