I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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