So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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