can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
