I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
someone owes me an orgasm
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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