I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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