Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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