did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
