it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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