And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I am midnight drunk by noon
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
