We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
